A few years ago my life got turned upside down. My parents came into my room as they always do at bed time for family prayer. Something didn't seem right but I didn't know what. My dad solemnly looked up at me then back down at the bed and explained that the doctor appointments he thought were going to be routine ended up resulting in a different conclusion than expected. He figured it was going to be nothing, just a regular check up. Something you must understand about my dad is that he was as healthy as a horse! No he didn't run marathons or anything crazy like that but there was nothing seriously wrong with him. As he began to speak and trying to explain to me what was going on I could tell this wasn't just a regular doctors appointment he was updating me on. He explained to me that he had been diagnosed with Leukemia and needed to go to the hospital right away starting chemo. My mouth dropped to the basement and I didn't know whether to cry or to scream or what. I looked at my mom who gestured for me to hug my dad and of course so I did.We had NO idea what the future had in store. He was in the hospital for 67 days receiving chemo and was finally let home when the treatment was done and it was safe for him to return home. Gratefully I was homeschooled and got to accompany my mother to the hospital often but see I still had sports at the local high school as well as I was in the band at the local high school. And I didn't have a drivers license so from the help of some sweet friends I was taken where I needed to go when I needed to go there. Over the course of those two months my dad was in the hospital several people came and helped out at the house making it safe for my dad to come home to and such. My heart is still over filled with gratitude for those who helped.
My dad came home and was informed that he was in remission but still needed to come back for check ups just to make sure. Because you see remission doesn't mean cured it means it's not life threatening right now. My dad was very happy to be home. Although he was the thinnest I have ever seen him and the palest I had ever seen him, somehow he carried around a smile every where he went. We played games together and laughed and for moments we escaped the harsh reality we were living in.At the month mark of being in remission my dad received a phone call that punched us all right in the stomach. Dad was no longer in remission and the type of Leukemia he has now has no real cure or had never been recorded as having anyone successfully going through chemo and being in remission. Most of the people who had the type of cancer my dad now has, only received the chemo for 2 years and then they passed away. Knowing that you are a ticking time bomb makes you reevaluate a few things. There are SO many ways my dad could have reacted to this news. He could have gotten severely depressed and mourned over his life. He could have gotten mad and been on edge often, possible yelling and getting mad for no reason. He could have gotten mad at the doctors and the nurses. But he didn't do any of those things. Instead he showed great courage. As many of these stories go he was quite incredible. I remember him being sad but he never let that consume him. He sought to heal broken relationships. He prayed and read his scriptures. Instead of abandoning God or feeling as if God abandoned him, he went to God for strength and help.
You see my dad was given a HUGE stumbling block. Something that could have ruined his outlook on life, his attitude towards life but instead he used it as a reason to withhold nothing. He got back on the horse so to speak. This I believe is what enduring to the end is all about.
Paul in speaking to the Romans explains what it means to endure to the end, to ensure your salvation. He talked about being kind, showing love, being obedient, seeking after good things, not letting the world consume you. All of these things were shown to me in my dad's actions. He's still enduring! He still gets chemo every two months. BUT ladies and gentlemen he has lived 6 years past his expiration date. And his platelet counts and red blood counts are better then they were the first day he was admitted to the hospital. He's a walking miracle! And I attribute a lot of that to how he handled himself. And I believe even if he had sadly left us here and returned to our God above things would have been ok because he was ok. He had enjoyed times with family and friends. He had put his whole heart into the service of God. He was happy. (He still is happy!!)So I remind myself often when I feel like I am ENDURING to the end, that there is no need to feel like woe is me because I have every reason to be happy. My dad realized that in a time when life seemed very fragile. I have no life threatening disease, I do experience heart ache and hard things but I realized watching my dad go through something so awful that I can do hard things too. I can endure to the end....no, I can ENJOY to the end.
Because I love the Lord I am learning how to endure to the end. Because the Lord loves me He gives me strength to enjoy to the end.
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